Saturday, March 26, 2011

Russell Crowe Pictures

Russell Ira Crowe born April 7, 1964 is an Academy Award-, Golden Globe Award-, Screen Actors Guild Award-, and BAFTA Award (whatever the hell that is)-winning dick. He is also an actor.

After establishing himself as a household name by appearing in such classics as Mystery, Alaska, Russell Crowe went on to star in every Ridley Scott film ever made. This includes Gladiator, a movie for which Crowe won the Oscar for "Best Mandals." They really were exquisite mandals: strappy, all kinds of buckles. They’d be the pride of any former-Yugoslavian’s shoe collection.

Russell Crowe is an Australian. His accent, however, comes and goes, especially during films in which he’s supposed to be a tobacco industry insider. Or a hard-boiled NYPD detective. Or a Depression-era boxer. Or any role aside from drunk, violent prima donna.

Once again, with the release of Body of Lies, Ridley Scott has tapped Russell Crowe to slather yet another man-biscuit of a movie with his hot country gravy. This time he is paired with Leonardo DiCaprio, who has himself once again grown a nice little geopolitical thriller goatee-mustache.