O-o-h, Child, Things Are Gonna Get Easier

When I am struggling with something, the lines from a song that came out in 1970 go through my head in a sort of subconscious mantra that helps to soothe my nerves and calm me down and give me reassurance.  The song is titled, "O-o-h, Child" and was sung by the Five Stairsteps.  The lyrics go, "O-o-h, Child, things are gonna get easier.  O-o-h, Child, things are gonna get brighter."  In 1970, I was eleven years old.  I am considerably older than that now.  That's a long time for song lyrics to be stuck in my head and for them to continue to resurface on a regular basis, but they do.

Pretty much for as long as I can remember, I have carried around with me the thought that "things are gonna get easier."  If I just do this or that or accomplish some goal or solve some puzzle, then things will suddenly, magically be easier, brighter, better.  When I was in high school, it was---  if I can just pass this Algebra test, or if I can just learn to parallel park, or if only some cute guy will ask me to the prom, then things will get better.

In college, I was sure that once I got my diploma, things would change.  I'd have no more problems, and it would be smooth sailing. Wrong again.  New difficulties appeared.  

As a young mother, when my sons were babies, I thought if I can just get them past the colicky stage, but that was followed by getting them out of diapers, and then getting them enrolled in school.  Since my sons are four and a half years apart, I'd just get one of them through a certain stage and then the other one would enter it.  While one was learning to drive, the other one was having to have braces put on his teeth and so forth.  It was always something.  

As they got older, their problems got bigger, as it happens for most of us.  One of my sons had to cope with the knowledge that the mother of one of his best friends committed suicide.  My son's friend was the one who found her after she had decided that life was no longer worth the effort it took to live it. 

My other son had to deal with speech problems that came from severe ear infections that he had as an infant which affected his hearing and speech development.  His speech improved and his hearing came back.  In fact, he is the one who plays the upright bass in the orchestra these days, so obviously those are problems that he has conquered.

Both boys had to deal with the kinds of problems that all kids face, bullies and broken hearts and disappointing losses.  As their mom, of course, I was always the one who was there to help them pick up the pieces and go on.  In a sense, their problems were my problems too, in that, it was up to me to teach them how to cope with whatever life dealt them.

With each problem that was solved, another would come along to take its place.  Every new challenge that was met and conquered was followed by another, and yet another.  Each new day brought with it and continues to bring with it, its own unique set of troubles to contend with.

I went to visit my mom at the nursing home tonight.  She had had a bad day.  As sometimes happens when she has a bad day and I come to visit her, she wanted to know if I had come to take her home.  I explained to her once again why that wasn't possible, why she needed to remain where she is, and why she needs to have 24 hour care.  She was clearly not happy with my response.

I sat with her while she had her dinner.  Mostly she focused on eating and didn't try to make conversation.  When she did try to talk, I had difficulty understanding her.  Although, if anyone is able to understand what it is she is trying to say, it is me.  As I listened to her struggle to talk, a thought occurred to me.  I remembered back to when my sons were babies and were first learning to talk. They could sit and babble away, and I'd understand everything they had to say while others were completely puzzled and had no clue what they were saying.  Now roles have changed, and now it is my mother that I am listening to intently in an effort to understand her words just as I did with my sons long ago.  Problems continue.  Each day brings some new ones to deal with or perhaps old ones reappearing in a new form.

my mom and my sons

I was mulling over all of these thoughts while walking through the park tonight.  By the time I got home from work, fixed supper, washed dishes, did laundry, and visited my mom, it was pretty late before I headed out to walk.  It was already dark when I left the house.  Because of my visit to my mom, the lyrics I mentioned above were playing in my head, my inner self making an attempt to comfort me.

Just as the words, "things are gonna get brighter," went through my head, I noticed a lone bright star in the sky.   I tried to take a picture of it, but it didn't turn out well.  Perhaps it wasn't even a star--perhaps it was a planet.  I don't know, and it doesn't really matter.  The point is, here was this star providing me with light, making things brighter, just at the moment I needed it.

That is how it has always been in my life too.  Yes, problems never go away completely.  They are always replaced with new ones as the old ones are solved or taken care of.  However, there has always been light to brighten the way for me, to guide me, to show me the way to go.  Either someone else or some thing provides the light I need to get through a crisis or figure out a solution to a problem, or I discover a way to make things brighter on my own.  Always, though, there has been hope and help available to me even if it meant I had to find a way to help myself. Sometimes it seemed slow in arriving, but help always arrived.

As I finished my walk, and returned home, this is the sight that greeted me.  Someone in my family had turned the porch light on for me in anticipation of my return home.  The light was on guiding my steps back home, making it easier, making it brighter. 

So this day is ending and a new one is beginning.  Actually it is already Saturday, and I started writing this when it was Friday.  This new day will bring trials of its own.  My mom's house and her remaining household goods are being sold at auction in a few short hours from now.  It's probably going to be a rough day.  I'd appreciate it if you all would leave the light on for me.

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Here's the song that's been playing in my head.  I hope you like it.  If nothing else, you will enjoy the clothes.  Wow!  1970 was quite the year for fashion, wasn't it!  I think I need a hat like that.