Wednesday, March 23, 2011

shut up crime!

have you seen the trailer for super yet?  i've been thinking about the line "shut up crime" a lot lately.  blame it on the rain or the super moon or whatever you want, but our neighborhood has seen a dramatic increase in crime this past weekend.  okay, okay, so i don't exactly live in what some people call a super "safe" neighborhood.  so maybe there are what other people might call "muggings," "car thefts," and "periodic drive by's." but it's cool, you know?  it's home to dozens of artists & musicians, and it's where the film industry originally began {before they moved to hollywood}.  one of our neighbors is even the famous museum of homoerotic art!  so what i'm saying is, it's a nice place, really.  but lately, things were a little more out of control than usual.  and by "out of control" i don't mean more dangerous, i just mean the crime was extra ridiculous.  

for example, on saturday there was an attempted robbery at the bank a few blocks from my house.  a bank robbery?!  seriously?  people still do bank robberies?  come on criminals, you can do better than that.

and if that wasn't enough, last thursday there was a manhunt in our yard.  yup, true story.  it was around midnight and the mister and i had just climbed into bed.  i commented on how eerily quiet it seemed that evening in our neighborhood, to which dannon replied "i think that's because there were no helicopters tonight."  i'm sure several minutes went by, but looking back it seemed that as soon as the words were out of his mouth, there came the helicopter.  we looked at each other with a "wah-wah!" and assumed it would just do the usual fly by or would hover a few streets over.  but no such luck!  unfortunately it circled right above us, with our house as the target.  and as if the extreme noise and rumbling of our home from the helicopter wasn't enough, there were search lights.
big, bright, scary search lights!

i felt like i was in a movie looking out my windows.  the trees were being blown about from the low-flying ghetto bird and the bright lights were shining all over our yard, even into our apartment.  eventually our whole neighborhood was shut down and a perimeter was formed around us.  over the loud speakers the cops informed all of us to stay in our houses while they searched for the criminals.  with hearts pumping we realized we were definitely not going to be sleeping anytime soon. the mister calmly read his book {he's a very stable person} while i, a much more anxious individual, did jumping jacks and watched the office {which i still stand by as an awesome way to pass the time during a manhunt}.

things were like this for a little over an hour {an hour!}, when suddenly the helicopter sped away and news reports began announcing a suspect had been taken in for questioning.  we wondered, what was this horrible crime that warranted helicopters, search lights, and a manhunt at 1am?  a murder?  a kidnapping?
you would think so, wouldn't you?  no, this horrendous crime was but a lowly car theft.  now i'm sure if my car was stolen i would want the cops to work hard to find it, but this was ridiculous. a manhunt? scaring people in the middle of the night?  all i can say is, that better be one amazing car.  i mean, it better be a war hero or a world famous pediatric heart surgeon or something!  

so, there it is.  crime is such a bother, isn't it?
{and mom, please don't worry, we're just fine here in the big city.}  

{i think i'm going to make this fierce getup so i can help during the next manhunt}

other than a million helicopters from 3:30am-12:00pm during the LA marathon, the rest of the weekend was pretty quiet. the mister was off starting a band with some friends {so cool!}, so i got the house to myself for a few days. you better believe i filled my time with all that stuff he hates doing and/or stuff i used to do living alone, but am too embarrassed to do in front of another person!  it may or may not have involved shameful amounts of cheese, my "single girl" sweat pants, & a tv marathon.  good times!